As a moderator managing a Discord community, one of the most difficult challenges you face is dealing with users who evade bans and engage in persistent harassment. They ignore the rules, are fixated on disrupting the community, and sometimes even target the moderators themselves. This article explains a comprehensive strategy for understanding and effectively dealing with the behavior of such high-conflict personalities (HCPs).
Deepen Your Understanding of High-Conflict Personalities (HCPs)
HCPs are individuals who tend to prefer conflict and lack interest in cooperating with others. They are often self-centered, fixated on blaming others, and may exhibit extreme thinking or behavior. For example, they might overreact to minor rule violations or attack others in order to push their own opinions through.
Recognize the Threats HCPs Pose to the Community
HCPs can cause serious harm to the community. Their methods range from spam attacks, leaking personal information, to DDoS attacks, and many more. They may also target moderators and community members, continuing harassment over extended periods. For instance, they might send persistent DMs or create multiple accounts to evade bans.
Tactical Empathy: Learning an Effective Approach to HCPs
To change the behavior of HCPs, an approach called “tactical empathy” is effective. This involves understanding the other party’s feelings and position and showing empathy to soften their hostility and encourage behavior change. The key is not to agree with the other party, but to make an effort to see things from their perspective.
Practice the Three Processes to De-escalate Situations
- Listening to Accusations: Carefully listen and try to understand the complaints and misunderstandings that the HCP has towards you or the community. For example, you might show understanding by stating, “I understand you feel like I am ignoring your opinion.”
- Mirroring for Understanding: By repeating the other party’s words, you can deeply understand their views and show empathy. For example, you can convey that you are taking their claims seriously by repeating their words, such as “You feel like I am favoring a certain group, is that right?”
- Reaching “That’s Right”: Summarize the other party’s views and get them to say “That’s right” to show understanding and respect. Through this process, you can soften the hostility of the HCP and open the way to a constructive dialogue.
Avoid Common Pitfalls and Mistakes
- Reaching “You’re Right”: It’s important to show understanding, not agree with their opinion.
- Trying to Correct Their Opinion: Focus on understanding their position, rather than trying to change their opinion.
- Making Mistakes in Tone and Word Choice: It’s important to show empathy and understanding in a casual tone. Also, use emojis and emoticons appropriately to express your feelings and convey approachability.
- Not Seeking Collaboration: Dealing with HCPs can be very mentally draining. Don’t try to handle it alone; consult and seek support from team members and other moderators.
Is it Possible to Support HCPs? The Limits and the Role of Moderators
Tactical empathy is only the first step in changing the behavior of HCPs. Reforming them is not easy, and professional help may be required. Your role as a moderator is to protect the community. Through dialogue with HCPs, try to restrain their behavior and ensure community safety.
Summary: For a Positive Community
Dealing with HCPs requires patience and strategy. By using tactical empathy, soften their hostility and restrain their attacks on the community. Your role as a moderator is to protect the community’s safety and health. When faced with difficult situations, collaborate with your team and consider seeking support from professionals.
By practicing the strategies introduced in this article, you can effectively deal with the behavior of HCPs and protect the peace of your community. Maintaining a positive environment is crucial for the growth and development of a community. Your role as a moderator is critical in building that foundation. Although it is a difficult challenge, I hope this article will be a helpful resource for your community management.